What the fuck? What the actual fucking fuck? Did you give one thought at all about who you might meet in the woods? Did you give one thought at all about how awful it looked to see you approaching as you did? Did you give you give one thought at all to whom you might be approaching as you did on that day looking like you did? Did you think at all? We never gave two shits if you actually were who you said you were. The weapon removes that caring. We cared for ourselves only in that moment as we three stood facing your very armed face. You were armed. We were not. Yet there you stood facing three un-armed beings looking at fungus on the ground. We told you why we were there, even though we owed you nothing. We gave you something. What did you give? Fear. Intimidation. Were you friendly? Were you sincere? Were you nice? We didn't know. We only picked up creepy creeper creeping vibrations when you told us you've been sitting here or an hour watching. What? US? We've been here 20 minutes and we're moving along quickly. You also waited until we were done and leaving. You could have said something sooner. It was clear we were there for a few minutes. But as you clearly saw, as you watched from your dark place of hiding... we were moving quickly along. And we did move quickly along. Before you approached. While you were approaching. And even after you made contact, while standing in the woods holding your weapon of choice. We moved along quickly. So your theatrics with the weapon were excessive and unwarranted for nature enthusiasts and photographers. You said you owned a hundred acres. I say, Prove it.
You said you owned a hundred more. I say Prove it once more. When i tell you who I am, listen up and listen good because I'll be back. I'll be back to talk greater shit about you in your corner of the woods until you never approach my group again. Back the fuck all the way Precious Hunter and never approach with your weapon again. If you see me in the woods, lay your weapon down and just do not approach. Do not approach. Be Kind. Leave the weapon behind.
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AuthorMarihemp is presently owner/baker/farmer at Cloverleaf Farms in Door County, Wisconsin. Archives
January 2023
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