To begin the journey of friendship, two individuals must agree and continue to agree they will continue being friends. At any point in time during friendships, one or the other without notice or apparent provocation can simply decide that the friendship has reached it's conclusion. To understand friendship and what it entails, one more also see that it takes a cooperative effort where both individuals involved in the relationship get equal billing as friends. What does this mean? It means that both friends, in the friendship take turns holding the microphone, the stage, the light, the cards, the check, the tissues and both share equal feels. What begins to happen when this isn't the case? What happens when only one person in the friendship gets to talk? Gets to be No. 1 and nobody else exists or gets a turn? What happens to friendship then? What can sometimes appear to be a fit, is simply one party masking approval while the other sucks up all the oxygen in the tent. The "friend" who is dominating the relationship stifles and smothers the non-speaking friend or friends in the room and no one is left with room to speak, to be noticed or even feel valued. This causes pain. Why is it so painful when you are ignored in friendships? Because we are under the belief system that we are sharing an experience with another human. Especially if that other human is in pain or transition off planet. We desire to wish them good things, when pain is all that seems to flourish in their midst. Not all relationships labels as friendships are sincere, authentic or friendships at all. Most "friendships" in today's transactional world are extensions of business relationships made friendlier by the exchange of money for goods, services and yes... even feels. People buy affection all the time. As kind people engage in business it can be difficult to tell rude, boorish or narcissists "No" or even "No thank you." Most of these types don't take "No" for an answer and will make this apparent the first time you don't put their needs before your own. Real friends, see your real needs and respond to them in ways that make you feel better. Fake friends, business friends or transactional relationships often leave you feeling hollow, masked and friendless once they depart the scene. Can fake friends leave a hole? Absolutely. Remember, these types suck up all the air in the room and they are always the most important people on scene. When they leave or tell you things, you don't feel better. Their compliments aren't true compliments. They are designed to grease the wheels after they see the wheels coming off their idea of friendship. Signs you can tell you are in a transactional relationship.
It's important to remember that Business is Business and not all friendships, even in business are in our best interest. Anyone who would place your business, your home, your spouse, family, pets and even in you in harm's way or jeopardy for their own benefit is not and never was your friend. People use other people all the time in the name of friendship. After awhile people catch on and steer clear of these individuals. You're not losing friends. You're gaining security.
2 Comments
Candace Junkin
2/12/2022 04:23:35 pm
Peace. These kinds of "friends" break your peace. They've never taken time to know you, because that would mean taking time from themselves. You must do what is best for your peace. Its their loss. #warmbread
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AdorkableHarleyFairy
2/12/2022 07:26:26 pm
Well said! I had to readjust my view on the word "friendship" a few years back, and remind myself of the word 'acquaintance.'
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AuthorMarihemp is presently owner/baker/farmer at Cloverleaf Farms in Door County, Wisconsin. Archives
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