Epic Times Call for Epic TimesCan you imagine? You start day just like any other. No idea what lays ahead. Think about it for a minute. Grabbing your keys, making sure you have all your gear... don't want to be late. Overtime and all, gotta get hopping and be on time. Then suddenly your world just unravels, before long you can't stand. Hell you're a fireman and can't hold onto the hose anymore. It's covered in butter. Nobody can stand up. It's a river of flowing butter. It's on fire, it's melting and it's taking everything with it when it goes. 11 days ago, on January 2nd, a brave and strong community in Wisconsin faced an adversary they never imaged they encounter. A river of Butter. In Portage, Wisconsin, a place known for a historic portage from the way back yonder of history before. Nare I say, let's not get muddled in what where what because before us is a literal river of butter. Our head instantly wants to jump to volumous endless displays of vulgarity when considering the possibilities. It wasn't quite as grand as all that. But it was, slippery as fuck and getting a handle on things lends this writer to imagine the hilarious Keystone nature of attempting to wrestle, with all things... a flowing river of Butter. I imagine our sons took to task and did the deed well. Last I heard, it's all cleaned up and hopefully so. I heard it smells like butter over there. Portage smells like butter because American workers who supply 10% of the nation's butter supply went to battle for you. American firemen came to their aid... and countless others who stepped up in this very strange moment in History.
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AuthorMarihemp is presently owner/baker/farmer at Cloverleaf Farms in Door County, Wisconsin. Archives
January 2023
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