You know when you're a kid life's already pretty intense. But then, just for laughs, throw a set of insanely abusive parents on top of it and drama is just the order of the day. How does one alleviate dramatics? By choosing to be melodramatic instead. Look, historically, abuse cases are already dramatic by thematic element. Then throw childhood on top of it and you get a very dramatic encounter that you hope in time mellows. Mellowing is exactly what I have done. Would I? Could I be so dramatic had been treated more kindly by my parents? I would like to think so. I'm pretty quiet and low key when given space and freedom to be myself unbridled. So my personality is not given to dramatic vibes beyond the palette and the party decorations. Okay, the music might get dramatic. I'm a living example of MY OWN EXPERIENCE of childhood terror at the hands of my parents. It's really who I am. I get that might be a hard swallow for some people. I do get it. But it still doesn't mean I'm going to be reducing my existence one whit further just to make you feel more comfortable in my presence. If you don't feel comfortable, leave. Wherever you are, whether it's a podcast, YouTube video or text message. Whatever makes you uncomfortable, you don't actually have to stay and participate. And call party foul. "I've begun the process of overlapping my old trauma with fantastic new life experiences with my own children and grandchild. I've replaced horrible childhood memories of being mocked and ridiculed to tears with beautiful ones. I took memories that saw me storming away from a table in not just defeat, but also family rejection for being "stupid". I wasn't supported or coached in my game play. They were simply thrilled to have one more agent to practice their winning moves on. I was no more than one more game piece. Except they decided to take it up a notch by intentionally humiliating me in front of my entire family until I fled in tears. The new memory still has me losing the game but winning the confidence of my grandson. We didn't play an adversarial style game. Instead I opted for kinder gameplay that supported his decisions and questioned his motives. We openly discussed strategy. I asked his opinion and he played as fairly as he was capable. When I caught him cheating, I let him know and the game continued forward. No one disintegrated into screaming, crying, gameboard tossing. Those were elements we simply left out of our time together. We are learning to play fairly instead of a cutthroat style my earlier family preferred. It wasn't something I wished to carry forward. So that style of gameplay dies with me. My children weren't taught that and neither are my grandkids. We took a bad bad thing and we turned it into a super positive style. So not only have we stopped a horrific practice in our family, we've been able to shift the strategies of future generations. Making them allies in the great fight instead of adversaries. It all begins there. In the games. What is "fair"? I coached my grandson to the meaning to a "Party Foul". It's important to develop those connections that goes beyond the surface of life. Letting kids know when something isn't cool with code language. Two simple words "party foul" have such an impact in my house. No one in my castle wants to ever hear those words. So we let them in on it. What constitutes a party foul. We have defined and will continue to define it in terms he can understand because he can actually understand. I was talked to like an idiot by most of the men I've met in my life and more than half the women. I get treated like I haven't a brain more than I get treated like I'm ugly. That's actually only ONE time and truly I also felt bad for her ugly ass too. So know her Karma was matched on the spot! My point is that kids don't know what's cool and what's not. They are simply sponges that when squeezed, whatever is put in is what will come out. So if Johnny is cursed at and screamed at during the tense moments of life, when things get tense he will curse and scream. It's basic math. Garbage in, garbage out. We've all heard this a thousand times. But if Monique is taught to center herself, ground, clear and summon her highest angels when things get tense... What does she do when things get tense? What we put into our families matters. It's doesn't need to be religious. Jesus didn't teach kindness. I'm not Jesus. Jesus taught tolerance. Marihemp teaches kindness. Kindness must begin the family. In the center of the home. Parents, kids, grandparents, siblings... kindness is the currency that most of desperately need. It really is beginning with us as the world restarts with fewer people in it. Will people hear and be kinder? Or will they scream and only worry about their position on the board? Flipping the board at their convenience. I'm telling you, if you're a screaming board flipper, I'm out dog. No games for you. But if you play nice and support your fellow player in quality play, I'm in every time!
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AuthorMarihemp is a Mystic Archives
January 2024
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