After the Pilot/Stalker Lady thing and the thing with Ayla that left everyone, including myself fractured... I decided to go back to college and try to figure out what happened. Not just what happened to me, but my role and underlying behaviors that lead to a lot of what we all experienced as a group. Going back to school was my way of owning up to myself and giving myself an explanation for why I behaved the way that i did. I know that i didn't fully own up to my role in what transpired but I know that because I was masking something darker. Something was more sinister that I experienced and I was experiencing fear in resolving the awful things that happened to me. The semester has concluded and I'm allowing myself a moment to recover and think about what I experienced these past few weeks. The thing that stands out the most was one of the other students and their aberrant behavior. I am aware of the social tenseness that is forming from the disenfranchised. However, I'm also seeing an increase in inclusion for the disenfranchised so that they can cease feeling untethered and begin to form new bonds that can carry them forward into a more stable life existence. I'm also seeing a rejection of the bonds attempting to form by students who are not just untethered, but antagonistic, anti almost everything when it comes their turn to talk. There is a frustration for myself in dealing directly with those not committed to studies. They feel/seem/behave in a bent fashion as a form of sabotage and then disbelief. I'll explore further. My classmate was complaining how her group excluded her from the group project because she wasn't present. She explained that she was at work and unable to participate with the group when the group selected to meet. She stated that she completed her portion of the requirement for the group assignment and was disappointed to learn that they had excluded her portion from the overall assignment the group submitted. I was having difficulty seeing how someone expected to be included when there was zero effort made to be present in order to defend their submission. She expected the group to simply include her portion of the assignment remotely, when that was not what was required. The requirement for the group project was for purpose to be present and in person, working together. She did not do that. And couldn't understand why they rejected her portion.
So, now she's quitting. And she used the word "bomb" in class. The instructor, while smiling and pleasant, did tell my classmate not to use that word. Now, WTF!!! Is this some test to see if the teacher will report the bomb comment or I will? And who and how to fuck is this supposed to happen? Yes, she meets all the criteria for someone who is at risk to take action against people she perceives have done her dirty. She has motive, she's stated it outright. The instructor heard her and commented "don't say that, ever." Ever. She fucking said it.
3 Comments
Candy
12/14/2023 11:38:43 am
Shes the one who had the problem. She's the one who is the problem. Saying BOMB in class is not what she needs to be saying. It's to make people feel a certain kind of way. She should t get away with it.
Reply
Mari
12/14/2023 07:00:09 pm
She said it. I need to remind Myself that it was her who made the comment, not Myself. I'm still not sure how to report this or who to talk to.
Reply
Amanda
12/21/2023 06:39:44 am
Is there someone in the office you speak to often who could direct you where to go on the *bomb* thing? Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMarihemp is a Mystic Archives
January 2024
Categories |