It's been time to get real with myself since I said "no" and they ignored me and did whatever they wanted. It was elder abuse. The elders abused were myself and my husband Paul. Who abused me? Hard to say and I won't be saying here. But what I will say, that according to my research and memory of my experience in my own house I am reckoning within and without myself that it was in fact elder abuse. When someone asks to do something and you say "no" and they do it anyway, that's abuse. It's impossible to love your abuser. I know that on some twisted planes of reality there are folks who have themselves convinced that Love is possible in every form and every action. But alas I'm here to pop your pristine bubble of perfectness and tell you "no". No is still the reply that I must give when I say "You didn't love me when you came." When they come and they don't love you, watch out. Watch out in a really big way because there will be posturing. There will be name calling. There will games to which you don't have the rules and will lose every time. My advice is, don't play. I wasn't playing. This was my house. This was my life. This was my marriage to either get right or fuck up trying too hard. What it wasn't was anyone else's "show" that they staged by hauling in so much crap, it's still outside blowing around in the Wisconsin winter winds. It's impressive to see the vastness of what wasn't needed but was brought and now just sits. Things that came from places that they pretended to be a big deal at and then told them things about us and then told us things that they said that they said about us, but you know I don't for one second believe one word they said about those people because all they did was lie about everything. I didn't need lies. I wanted a family. She knew that and for whatever twisted purpose saw to it that I have no family. She wanted to win. She won. She can feel good about herself now! Good. Because as far as I can tell, this wasn't just a trauma thing she pushed on us. This was Her. I met Her. And I am good. She proved to me over the past 30+ years how much she doesn't need me at all to live her life on her terms. So be it. Her life is completely on her terms. I accept them. All of them.
It was still elder abuse. She cannot undo what She did to me and my husband. And lordt knows what She's doing to your brothers. Who is she anyway?
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AuthorMarihemp is a Mystic Archives
January 2024
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